Friday, June 24, 2011

A new first page for Good Clean Sex

Good Clean Sex

“He’s gay.”
“He’s not. You’re just jealous.”
Jason Fillmore was not jealous of the exotic dancer his fiancé had chosen for her bachelorette party. He knew for a fact that Javier Sanchez was gay.
Brooke Quimby leaned forward in her desk chair, peering more closely at the screen, as if she expected his sexual orientation to be tattooed on his smooth brown chest.  “He is awfully pretty. What if you’re right? It’ll ruin the party.”
 “It won’t ruin the party. No one will even notice.”
“You noticed.”
“I’m a guy. We have gay radar. Anyway, I could be wrong,” said Jason feeling only slightly guilty for the lie. He didn’t want to hurt Javier’s chances for good tips.
“Well, it’s too late to book anyone else,” said Brooke.
The bachelorette party was in two days, the wedding in three.
“I’m sure he’ll do a fine job,” said Jason.
Brooke stood up and turned toward him. Her hair was honey- blonde, her eyes pale blue, and her body slim and shapely. Jason had known her since middle school, when he’d thought of her only as his best friend’s annoying little sister.
“Are you sure you don't mind me having this party?”
“Of course I don't mind,” said Jason.
“But it doesn't feel right that you aren’t having a bachelor party.” She put her arms around his neck.
Jason rested his hands on her tiny waist. “I don't feel the need. Anyway, my best friend is your sister and I can’t picture Kendra hiring strippers, and throwing me a bachelor party.”
 Brooke’s pretty mouth twisted into an ugly frown. “She might like it. I’ve wondered for a while now if Kendra is a lesbian and in denial. I mean she’s twenty-three and she’s never been in a relationship.”

I decided to try starting this story with a diferent point of veiw character. Does this beginning work better than the other one?

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