Thursday, June 9, 2011

First Page of Good Clean Sex--- Does it grab your attention?

Good Clean Sex
Sitting at her kitchen table, laptop open in front of her, Kendra Quimby read the profile of thirty –year- old business owner Pierce, for what she guessed was the tenth time. Pierce was by far the most attractive man who had responded to her ad with the dating service.  Six feet tall exactly, 170 pounds, dark hair, a goatee, and dark blue eyes. He’d never been married, wasn’t a parent, didn’t drink or smoke, or own a pet, and admitted to being a bit of a neat freak. He liked games of all kinds, with the exception of mind games. He was looking to meet someone ‘real’, someone who didn't read tabloids, idolize pop singers, or watch reality television.
Everything he’d written jibed well with Kendra’s own qualities and interests. For two days now she’d been coming back to this page, staring at his face, trying to see what kind of person resided behind those intense blue eyes. She hadn’t yet responded to his suggestion that they chat.  
Kendra kept telling herself that he was too good looking. She had a nice figure, but considered her face to be quite average. Her fashion sense was non existent, her style basic, bland even, or so her sister always said. ‘A little color wouldn't kill you Kendra.’ For God’s sake put on some blush, you look like you’re headed for the morgue.’
 Every birthday and Christmas Brooke gave Kendra some inappropriate, useless, gift. There was the pair of Peacock earrings, with giant feathers, the bright red lipsticks and nail polishes, colorful scarves, and a zebra striped belt. Kendra kept them all in a box in her closet. The day that Brooke had announced her engagement, to the man that Kendra had been in love with since the eighth grade, Kendra had wrapped the box in wedding paper, and put a huge bow on it. She planned to give it to Brooke as a wedding present, as it represented all that Brooke was, and all that Kendra wasn’t. If Kendra had been more like Brooke, would she be the one marrying Jason Fillmore?

1 comment:

  1. This one didn't grab me quite as much as the other one...but one page is difficult to create enough of a storyline to draw people in. Since I have no idea where you're going with this, I'd have to say that I was more intrigued with Eternal Ecstasy. But I have no doubt that you've got a great story in mind.